Sunday, December 12, 2004

Ocean's 12: A Discussion

PK: So, what'd you think?
JLJ: I *loved* it.
PK: Really?
PK: I was rather let down.
PK: I mean, I enjoyed myself, but it was too messy.
PK: There was no through-line in the plot.
PK: The script needed another go around.
PK: And that Julia Roberts robbery scene? It was painful.
PK: I give it a C. Mostly for the Matt Damon stuff.
JLJ: You need to pull the stick out of your ass.
JLJ: The characters were so natural
PK: No, they weren't characters.
JLJ: and as much as 11 was "American" this one was "European"
PK: They were not.
JLJ: I call bullshit on that!
PK: I mean, that shit with Pitt and Jones and Finney was so forced.
JLJ: No way!
PK: It came out of nowhere.
JLJ: I so disagree.
PK: And it was so fucking obvious.
PK: Girl whose father is a thief wants to catch her father.
PK: But they didn't even follow through with that in any way that made sense.
JLJ: Bah!
PK: The only two actors in there that were really being characters were Bernie Mac and Damon.
PK: And the ending was so pulled out of their ass.
JLJ: dude, you are sooo wrong
JLJ: Dude
PK: I mean, at least in the first one, you went... Ah ha!
PK: But this one was like, oh well, we actually pulled it off a long time ago, so all this other stuff was just bullshit.
JLJ: 11 is this superslick glitz glam American heist. It's in the most "American" city--one where everything is facade and nothing is substance and dollar is king
JLJ: 12 is totally old world
PK: I get what you're saying.
PK: But it didn't make sense.
JLJ: It's "European" to a T
PK: It had plot holes all over the place and the editing was crap.
PK: Actually, the editing was okay, but the script was confused.
JLJ: It's the Italian Job and the Lavender Hill Mob and the Pink Panther all rolled into one.
PK: The actors were gliding on charisma.
PK: See, at least the Italian Job had a narrative drive.
JLJ: Dude. Seriously, how do you poop with that stick shoved so far up your butt?
PK: This one just jumped around.
PK: Oh get off it.
JLJ: :-)
PK: You don't have to love everything Soderbergh does.
JLJ: Actually, I do!
PK: Be that as it may, you don't have to.
PK: He was collecting a check on this one.
JLJ: But even if I didn't, I would still recognize this for the quality popcorn that it is
JLJ: No way.
PK: The script was crap.
JLJ: The chemistry is so good! The pit-pat-snap was spot on.
PK: He should have gotten Scott Frank again.
JLJ: I totally disagree.
JLJ: The script was *exactly* what it needed to be.
PK: Lazy?
JLJ: Dude.
PK: Disorganized?
JLJ: Have you been drinking?
JLJ: I'm totally posting this to my blog with the names removed.
PK: The dialogue was great. The plot was miserable.
PK: You can post my name.
PK: Hell, I am a film critic now.
JLJ: Ha!
JLJ: So that's where the stick came from!
JLJ: They install them as soon as you go pro!
PK: Nonsense. You just can't get get Soderbergh's dick out of your mouth long enough to see straight.
JLJ: Bah!
PK: Seriously, do you cup his balls when you do that?
PK: Or is he one of those "no hands" guys?
JLJ: I would if he asked me.
PK: Well, you've just lost your credibility there.
JLJ: I love that he isn't afraid to make unabashed popcorn flicks.
PK: I do too, but this one was a mess.
PK: Now The Limey, that was brilliantly plotted. Ocean's 11 was too.
JLJ: Only because you tried to cut it up and shove it into your notion of what it was supposed to be.
PK: This one had too many balls in the air.
PK: Not at all.
JLJ: If you just go with the flow it's a fantastic film
PK: My notion was that it should make sense.
PK: That they should payoff the setup.
JLJ: If it doesn't make sense to you, you weren't paying close enough attention
JLJ: The plot isn't rocket science.
JLJ: There's no faulty logic.
PK: Exactly.
JLJ: Now you're not making sense!
PK: I didn't say there was. I said that the motion of the plot jumped around too much.
JLJ: And I'm saying you'd be fine with the jumpin' if you weren't coming down on that stick everytime you landed!

posted by James Lucas Jones @ 9:40 PM  

At 2:00 PM, Jamie S. Rich said...

He actually qualifies himself as a film critic by not making sense. Within two lines, he says the ending comes out of nowhere and is totally obvious. I think he is confused as to whose thinking is muddled--his or the filmmakers. ;)


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All content TM & (c) 2004 James Lucas Jones except
The Royal Tenenbaums
& related characters TM & (c) 2001 Touchstone Pictures.

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